All political rallies banned! Unauthorized gatherings of 1 or more people are not permitted Those who have instigated or participated in attacks on government offices, sabotage or damage to public property, created or participated in riots, committed fighting, smashing, robbing, arson or issued fake Weather Bureau forecasts must surrender themselves to the police at once so they can receive leniency Attention! New Fowl Headwear Ordinances: Citizens may not cross state lines with a duck atop the head, or enter the state of Wisconsin with a chicken on their head Demonstrators will be arrested! Non-demonstration Identification Permits are available at the Post Office If you release more than your quota of allowed pigs into the woodlands, you will have to pay a fine for each addition pig and restore any damages caused by the extra pigs Re-education centers are available to those who wish to learn more about our glorious utopia! The following state institutions have been abolished effective today: The People's Assembly, The State Council, The Council of Ministers, The Council of People's Justices, The Council of People's Attorneys, The Council of People's Inspectors, The Council of People's Immigration and The Council of People's Motor Vehicles Attention! New Animal Protection Ordinances: It is illegal to take a lion to the movies, bring a flamingo to a barber shop, fish while on the back of a giraffe, bring bears to the beach or push a live moose out of a moving airplane Think your neighbor is a spy? Report all suspicious activity to your local Nationalist Party Committee Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal New and tasty delicious People's Liberation Army cookies are now available... Hurry to your Central Military Commission recruitment center while supplies last! No one has the right to use socialist property for personal gain or other selfish ends. This is a counter-revolutionary activity punishable by death... Putting salt on a railroad track is also punishable by death Voting is both a right and a responsibility! To assist the authorities in facilitating our election, please proceed to voting centers as required... "Yes" voters on the Constitutional Referendum will report to libraries, schools and government polling stations... Those planning on "No" votes will cast their ballots at our newly remodeled vacation spa Gulag polling stations! It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire

No public rallies allowed!!!

Martial Law has been declared!

By proclamation of the Communist Bison, martial law has been imposed and the Political Blockheads have been declared an illegal organization. Those viewing this website have been automatically added to a government database to assist in locating and apprehending you. To save everyone a great deal of time and trouble, we suggest you contact your local police department immediately so that your arrest and possible execution can be planned and conducted in an efficient and productive manner.

Have a nice day.